“Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.”
“Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.”
“Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.”
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”
“Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.”
“Radicalism: The conservatism of tomorrow injected into the affairs of today.”
“Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.”
“Positive: Mistaken at the top of one’s voice.”
“Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.”
“Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.”
“Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.”
“Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.”
“Experience: The wisdom that enables us to recognize as an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.”
“Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”
“Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.”
“Sweater: Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”
“Rational: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience, and reflection.”
“Impiety: Your irreverence toward my deity.”
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”
“Cynic: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.”
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man—who has no gills.”
“Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.”
“Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”
“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”
READ MORE AUTHORS QUOTES :
“Truth: An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.”
“The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.”
“Habit: A shackle for the free.”
“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
“Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.”
“Boundary: In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.”
“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”
“Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am).”
“Optimism: The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.”
“Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.”
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
- Alice Walker Quotes
- Alice Munro Quotes
- Alexis de Tocqueville Quotes
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Quotes
- Alexander the Great Quotes
“Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.”
“The covers of this book are too far apart.”
“Ambition: An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.”
“Battle: A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.”
“Mad: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.”
“Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.”
“Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.”
“Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”
“History: An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.”
“Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”
“Debt: An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.”
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.”
“Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.”
“Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.”
“In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.”
“Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”
“Zealot: One who is inspired by a passion for the advancement of a cause that he does not understand.”
“Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.”
“Deliberation: The act of examining one’s bread to determine which side it is buttered on.”
“Revolution: In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.”
“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.”
“Politics: Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.”
“Brain: An apparatus with which we think that we think.”
Ambrose Bierce Quotes :
“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
“Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.”
“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”