“Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.”
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.”
“Mad: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.”
“Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.”
“Brain: An apparatus with which we think that we think.”
“Cynic: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.”
READ MORE AUTHORS QUOTES :
“Ambition: An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.”
“Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.”
“Sweater: Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”
- Alice Walker Quotes
- Alice Munro Quotes
- Alexis de Tocqueville Quotes
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Quotes
- Alexander the Great Quotes
“Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.”
“The covers of this book are too far apart.”
“Debt: An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.”
“The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.”
“Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.”
“History: An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.”
“Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.”
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”
“Optimism: The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.”
“Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.”
“Deliberation: The act of examining one’s bread to determine which side it is buttered on.”
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
“Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”
“Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.”
“Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.”
“Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.”
“Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.”
“Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”
“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”
“Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”
“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.”
“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”
“Boundary: In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.”
“Revolution: In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.”
“Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”
“Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.”
“Truth: An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.”
“In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.”
“Positive: Mistaken at the top of one’s voice.”
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man—who has no gills.”
“Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.”
“Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”
“Rational: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience, and reflection.”
“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”
Ambrose Bierce Quotes :
“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
“Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.”
“Impiety: Your irreverence toward my deity.”
“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”
“Radicalism: The conservatism of tomorrow injected into the affairs of today.”
“Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.”
“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
“Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.”
“Battle: A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.”
“Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am).”
“Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.”
“Politics: Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.”
“Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.”
“Habit: A shackle for the free.”
“Zealot: One who is inspired by a passion for the advancement of a cause that he does not understand.”
“Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.”
“Experience: The wisdom that enables us to recognize as an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.”
“Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.”